March 22, 2023- Something about lingering feels

In a moment, you can feel very happy but at another time you feel really hopeless. It almost feels like what have you done and been through all this time doesn't add up to you as it feels like you are not enough. one bad feeling that unconsciously stirs you up to the hollowness of mind. You know that you are grateful but on another side, you feel empty because of that one lingering feelings that haunt you. You tend to miss that person's appearance, presence, and voice even though you know that person won't be in your life again. You know how bad to miss that one person that always has a special place in your heart. Because you know that happy moment won't come back either way.

Have been through shit and met the ending where you know it is not good for your life to keep that one person you hold dear most all this time. You know that all your tears have been used up for that one person. The hurts. The betrayals. All years you invest in. All the journey. It is hard to keep strong even though it is been a long time past. You still try to heal yourself. It is toxic. It is shameful. The lingering feeling of how that one person embraces you make you feel nauseous and allergic but at the same time, you miss it. The feeling of secured and loved. that one moment and feeling you missed. But you know it won't be repeated again nicely with the same person that has been hurt and stabbed you.

Why would you wanna heal by seeking it in the same person who hurts, lies, betrays, and slanders yourself? The concept is sickening me. Sometimes mind and heart might not be in sync. Many people tolerate this behavior in their daily life. Why always that one psycho one destroys you mentally, and you let it have that special place in your heart? how stupid of the human side of me.

Komentar

  1. Alvi Rosyidah26 Maret 2023 pukul 21.16

    Saya sarankan Anda segera instal sosismen dan merencanakan bukber dengan saya :3

    BalasHapus

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